survival of the fittest

does anybody really get tired of giving? of loving? or giving up is an option only for those who has really nothing to hold on in the first place?

We can never really cure a burnt hand while still on a blazing fire.

I really have this frantic desire or better yet be called a frantic dillusion to obtain for myself,
an old fairytale of a "happily ever after". I thought I will have mine soon as at last part of my yet to be completely
woven reality.

 Yet, the truth, the true reality strikes
when you begin to accept and
differentiate what cannot be and what can be..
Because if we never wake up, we only have that piece of reality in dreams
that can, if long kept can transform into frightful and uncontrolable nightmares.

Dreams can be true, yet they do not even exist as part of this true reality.
Dreams can either make or break us.
What is unquestionable is, we choose what can make or break us.
We choose the things, the people who can destroy or make us.
But is in being broken that we are restored.
The process may take long but a lifetime is not really enough
to justify who really we are.

We rise or fall, like those blue waves, untiringly rising then falling or either falling and then rising..

who ever said that letting go is an art, has such a brilliant mind, which i, with all respect salute and bow from.

Because letting go is never really easy, who told you you there'll be no crying on turning back?
It's like giving up your favorite old shirt from someone you utterly do not know.
or
It is as difficult as traveling to a place you are unknown of.

The point here is,
at some point in our life, we really have to let go..
the difference only is, i am letting go of him, and you are letting go of another person,
or you are giving up on your old treasured house.
The bottom point is we all get throught the point of letting go.. of letting them free..
The bravest one only comes out
when he himself desires to let it all free..
to forget and start over..

we live and we die, then we live again.. it is in dying that we live again, and as we are born again
and as we look to ourselves who already died, we learn, and we value the learnings
by heart and through the head.

Charles Darwin, Oh i never thought i would ever use your words,
"Life is a survival of the fittest."
If you wanna live, if you wanna survive,
leave the one and anything that kills you.
If pain is killing you, drive it away..
and settle where you'll have you're safest retreat.
Indulge in the beauty of life, It is too short, as everyone would say, to live in lie and pain.

And i am letting go..
and i am setting it free.
and now,
IT'S FOR REAL.

nevertheless, i thank *you for bringing me into a
better piece of a soon to be woven, first class fabric.


as we start over, we love again.
we love the world, as if it is all we ever have.

three full years

three years..

three full years..

and yes, it has been an indefinite road that i have been traversing on happily until now. through those years, i admit i had been through cold grey days while continuing on this road, and there were many times when i had to walk on this road alone and without an umbrella under the strong whipping wind

and rains of the storm, yet i made it this far and making it through without stopping and without having any single regret.

i found my heart..

yes! I found my heart in this road so why shall i regret?

3 grayish yet still colorful years.. and i am looking forward to another years, ofcourse on the same road wishing neither for a fewer thunderstorm or gray clouds but for a new pair of shoes to walk on with and a hand to hold on tightly with great faith and love.

holding on..

and on and on..

3 years of rainy and sunny days,

which i cherish.. i have and i hold..

may 17, 2007

sleep and dream of rain

and then at night

we live our souls to slumber..

to walk on dreams

of rosy fields

and gloomy skies..

because as we wake

dreams are far ashore,

no grey sky,

no rain,

no hope for a cold, cold, day..

only overly sweating

body that

freezes our sanity.

*i never have to explain why i love the evenings more than mornings..

and a gloomy rainy day than a sunny perspiring whole day..

i wish tomorrow,

i'll catch a thunderstorm.. 

Goodnight.. :)

sleeping with a new life :)